Republicans are “soul searching” these days in the aftermath of their shocking, to some, loss in the 2012 elections. That’s according to the latest report from the Associated Press who is quite distraught over the GOP’s misfortune.
“We were clearly wrong on a whole range of fronts”, Newt Gingrich has declared.
“We need to make sure we’re not perceived as intolerant”, decries a “veteran GOP strategist”.
We need to be a larger tent party”, wisely counsels Scott Brown, loser to “Big Tent Queen” Elizabeth “tell’em they didn’t build it, Barry” Warren.
The AP reports that, across the board, “Republicans say that arguably the most urgent task facing the party is changing its attitude about immigration to woo Hispanics”.
So there you have it! The powers-that-be in the GOP have analyzed and strategized and have concludigized that, by golly, they ain’t Democrats enough to win elections.
We got to stop our war on women, maybe invite Sandra Fluke to our 2016 Party Convention, have Lady GaGa in her condom suit introduce her and propose to make Planned Parenthood a Cabinet department; “change our tune” on illegal immigration…perhaps push for Spanish as our first language; stop this nonsense about insisting that only US citizens should vote in US elections…how small tent stuff is that?; forget this nutty notion that Congress should produce budgets…hell, whattya think we have a Federal Reserve printing press for?!
And this crazy opposition to gay marriage. What’s that all about? We should be promoting the notion that if you can’t love what your with, love whatever you can get. And the young people…we gotta learn to twitter better. Nuthin’s more effective to make a point than a reference to aberrant sex or funny bodily functions. Also, we oughtta be working with Oliver Stone on a movie dramatizing all the good that came out of Mao’s Great Leap Forward and how it has inspired many of us in the Republican Party.
Besides, why waste all that money on a military when Susan Rice can handle “contentious” situations, if they arise.
These measures seem to be the logical outcome of the GOP strategy consensus.
I have a different interpretation of the recent election. I do agree that, to win, it appears that the Party must adopt many of the Democrat goals and strategies. To begin with, I propose that the next four years Republican efforts must be devoted exclusively to relentlessly demonizing any Democrat who is or might emerge as an effective political leader.
To effectively carry out this strategy, it will be necessary to perfect another tactic that Democrats use to great effect: develop the resources to get enough dirt on media personalities that will enable effective “persuasion” to report every administration initiative in the worst possible context (shouldn’t be difficult with this administration that even today’s media “giants” can do it). Note: if research fails to turn up enough legitimate “dirt” on a news media figure, use another Democrat tactic…make stuff up! This worked very well for BO during the campaign.
Perhaps the best weapon in the Democrat arsenal which Republicans can adopt to win future presidential elections is to put forth an extremely eloquent speaker…he/she can be a complete airhead…and have them meet with all types of ethnic, racial, religious, social, ideological, economic constituencies. In each appearance, promises in perfect alignment with the desires and issues of the particular constituency should be forcefully and unequivocally made. Note: GOPers should not be concerned about the ramifications of all or any of the promises since there will be no intent to keep them. That is sooo 18th century.
By way of example: The handsome, or gorgeous, Republican hopeful would speak to the NOW convention, followed by an appearance before NARAL leaders. In these appearances, the unannounced future candidate would outline the newly enlightened GOP attitude toward abortion…any time, anywhere, under any and all circumstances, all expenses paid in full by the federal government with a bonus payment for each additional month after the first trimester that the procedure is done. This payment would be made to alleviate any physical or emotional stress (however unfounded) the non-mother might endure.
In the weeks following, Catholic bishops and conservative lay and religious groups would be assured that the party would not under any circumstances promote or pay for with government funds, abortion. Bishops would be assured, however, that all other parts of Obamacare they had endorsed would be aggressively provided. The Catholic Left, of course, would be assured that the abortion thing is quaint but quite secondary…or tertiary, or whatever comes next…and that the GOP is now only hot about “social justice”, destruction of the wicked carbon-based energy producers, and the end of “corporatism”.
You get the picture. If you want to know how the successful candidate would actually govern in light of these conflicting promises, you will have to pass his or her legislation to “know what’s in it”. DLH
