The Zen of Te’o, the Oprahcult and Naginism

If we can’t believe in Notre Dame football, what can we believe? Perhaps, Oprah, the last best hope of mankind?

My big concern re: the Manti Te’o scandal is who will win custody of the two imaginary children the couple had together? One of my friends suggested that I should not worry. The imaginary children were born in Hawaii. That’s an imaginary island where our imaginary President was spawned, and has some of the most generous healthcare and social service programs of any socialist country in the world.

While I was somewhat relieved that the imaginary Te’o offspring will be adequately cared for, I will not be completely satisfied until I see a bona fide imaginary birth certificate to assure me that they are imaginary citizens of fictional Hawaii.

Another note:: Is Oprah busy lining up her next blockbuster interview with another repentant wrongdoer seeking redemption? I vividly recall two Oprah items. Just before Katrina, Oprah had James Frey back for an appearance following discovery that his book which O had touted to her vast and devoted audience . . . “A Million Little Pieces” . . . was like Manti’s mistress, imaginary.

Oprah devoted an entire hour publicly, worldwide, flogging poor James for misleading O and her audience. It was heartbreaking that Frey would have done such a thing.

Shortly after the Frey beatdown, Katrina occurred. While that saga was still going on, Oprah had His Honor, Ray Nagin and his Police Chief, Eddie Compass on her show. There she treated her audience to a full hour as the heroic Nagin/Compass team recounted all the terrible things happening in the Super Dome ordered by the diabolical President Bush. They told of the rapes of babies, the murders and beatings, the decaying bodies of victims. It was awful. Oprah’s audience wept uncontrollably.

Within a couple of weeks, however, it was revealed, by the Times-Picayune and other news outlets, that virtually everything the Nagin/Compass team had said was untrue!

Oddly enough, Oprah never had the two lads back to berate them for lying to her audience.

Well, now Oprah has her chance. She can have former Mayor Nagin back to give his heartfelt apologies for the corruption, bribery, and double dealing he has been indicted for and beg the saintly Ms. Winfrey’s forgiveness.

Praise God, there’s an Oprah. Alleluia!    DLH

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