(adapted from an item that came in over the transome)
THE PERFECT DAY – January 20, 2017
1.President Ted Cruz is sworn into office.
2. In a rare event on inauguration day, Congress convenes for an emergency meeting to repeal the illegal and unconstitutional Socialist healthcare farce known as Obamacare. The new Director of Health and Social Services Dr. Ben Carson announces that an independent group of healthcare management professionals is hired to handle healthcare services for poor and low income people. They are also assigned the duty of eliminating Medicare and Medicaid fraud. Government’s costs for public healthcare are reduced by 90%. Healthcare insurance premiums for working Americans are reduced by 50%. The move saves billions of taxpayer paid dollars. Healthcare service in the U.S improves 00%.
3. Newly appointed Department of Homeland Security Chief Donald Trump announces the immediate deployment of all necessary resources to the U.S. Mexico border to control illegal immigration and the immediate deportation of illegals with criminal records or links to terrorist groups. Mexico starts building a wall in order to qualify for foreign aid and other exchanges and favoritisms it receives from the U.S. . Citizenship by birth now requires at least one parent to be a citizen. The move saves American taxpayers billions of dollars. Several prisons are closed.
4. The Cruz Administration announces it will not recommend any budget for the Department of Education and will seek to disband it. The usurpations of the EPA and those of other agencies of government running rampant during the Obama administration are stopped. Political appointees are long gone and complicit staff are transferred or given retirement plans they can’t refuse. Billions and billions of dollars are saved. Stocks double.
5. Newly appointed Director of Government Finance Rand Paul announces the abolition of the IRS and displays a copy of the new Federal Tax Return form. It consists of one page. The instructions consist of two pages. The Federal Reserve is audited. The move saves American Taxpayers billions of dollars and increases tax revenue.
6. Hillary Clinton is in prison, where she belongs. Her cell is directly across from Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton who are serving time for ‘Hate Crimes”. She bitches at them constantly from behind the bars of her cell in what some might call cruel and unusual punishment.
7. Bernie Sanders is in the nuthouse, where he belongs. His room is directly across from Nancy Pelosi, Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Chris Matthews and Al Franken. They meet for tea every day at 10 AM and discuss the success and benefits of Communism and Socialism throughout the world. They also wonder when the “Mothership” is going to pick them up and return them to their home planets.
8. Windows 12 is released. It is designed for humans, doesn’t try to satisfy the needs of every person on the planet, doesn’t require a degree in nuclear physics to operate and looks just like Windows 7 except it is easier to use.
9. Barack Obama flees the United States under cover of darkness after his treason conviction and is forced to spend his time between Indonesia (where he enjoyed citizenship that got him into college in the U.S.) Venezuela and Kenya. The later tires of him quickly and he is forced to wander through the jungle singing “Hakuna Matata” with a chimp named Commie.
10.Oscar Meyer announces the introduction of a new cholesterol and fat free pepperoni that tastes just like regular pepperoni.
11. Not to be outdone, Kraft Foods announces the introduction of several varieties of cholesterol and fat free cheeses that actually taste like cheese.
12. A committee is not established to determine what is causing global cooling. Billions of taxpayer dollars are saved.
13. Dead people are no longer allowed to vote in Chicago , a huge blow for the Democrat Party in the State of Illinois .
And this my friends constitutes THE PERFECT DAY!
