Castro Bros Announce Plans for 5 Star Resort at Gitmo; No extensive renovation necessary.
Veritaspac Bureau Chief “EH”
Veritaspac’s Havana bureau chief is reporting that the Castro brothers, Fidel and Raul, Cuba’s communist rulers, have announced plans to open a 5 star resort at the former Guantanomo Bay detention camp. With Secretary “Ash” Carter’s careful and rigorous screening of the remaining detainees completed, the facility is reportedly soon to be closed and handed over to the Cuban government.
Hector, U.S. State Dept. spokesman
A spokesperson for the US State Dept., speaking off the record, said all detainees will be released over the next several weeks. Our Havana correspondent was told that announcement as to where the detainees will be sent will be made some late evening prior to the next holiday weekend.
In making public plans for Gitmo, as formerly known, a Cuban government spokesman said the facility as planned has already been listed as one of the top ten luxury destinations in the world for 2016 by most of the leading firms in the travel industry, and rumored to include Zagat, Conde Nast, and Forbes Travel Guide.
Cuban government spokesman
The spokesman also revealed that no major renovation or luxury upgrades before the resort’s opening early next year had been necessary nor are planned.
Last year “Inspire” magazine, official publication of AlQaeda in the Arabian Peninsula (AQAP) rated Gitmo as its top pick as a retirement destination for aging jihadists.
Finally, it is rumored that the hotel’s prime accommodation, to be known as “The Obama Suite” will cost upward of $500,000 per night with a long list of celebrities having already booked stays there. (Also rumored that a significant percentage of the room rate will go to an unnamed foundation dedicated to “social justice” and defeat of global warming).
DLH
