This is a letter to the editor of the Lakeland, FL Ledger, a typically liberal newspaper in central Florida. I wish I had written. I just wish I was a friend of the guy who wrote it.
DEAR HOLLYWOOD CELEBRITIES
Some of you are beautiful, some can deliver a line with such conviction that you bring tears to your eyes, some are so convincing that you scare me,and others are so funny you can make me laugh, others make great music.
But you all have one thing in common: you only exist and have a place in my tiny world to entertain me. I don’t care where you stand on issues; your opinion means nothing to me. Believe me or not, the truth is that you aren’t real.
I turn off my TV or shut down my computer or turn off my radio, and you cease to exist. Once I’m done with you, I go back to the real world until I want you to entertain me again. I don’t care that you think BP executives deserve the death penalty, or what you think about the environment, or if you believe fracking is bad. I don’t care if you call for more gun control, believein catastrophic human-induced global warming. And I could care less that you supported Hillary Clinton for president.
Get back into your bubble. I’ll let you know when I’m in the mood for something pretty, or scary, or funny.
What was it with all this “I’ll leave the country if Donald Trump wins”? Don’t you know how stupid that made you sound? What did you think my reaction was going to be? I better not vote for Trump or we’ll lose Whoopi Goldberg? Al Sharpton? Amy Schumer? Bruce Springsteen? Barbra Streisand? Leave. I don’t care.
Make me laugh, cry, sing, even scare me. But realize this, the only words of yours that matter are scripted, just like your sheltered little lives, I may agree with some of you at times, but, in the final analysis, it doesn’t matter. In my world, you exist only for my entertainment. Whit McFarlin, Lakeland, Florida
And, now for a bit of sheer eloquence from one of Hollywood’s most refined, incisive, and relevant spokespersons, Alec Baldwin:
“I just want to say, I’ve been standing out here in the freezing cold for a long time. I have to go to the bathroom – I have to pee,’ he said impersonating Trump.
‘But I’m holding it in, holding it in. I’m not going to pee. I’m going to a function at the Russian consulate tonight; I’m going to hold it in until I get there. And then when I get to the Russian consulate, I’m going to have a really, really long pee. Like the biggest pee I’ve ever had in my lifetime.’
‘Are we going to have 100 days of resistance?’ he said, revving up the crowd and switching to his regular voice.
He then went on to call Trump and his cabinet picks a ‘disgrace’.
‘Donald Trump and Steve Bannon and Mike Pence and all these people that are a part of Trump’s administration think you’re going to lay down,’ he said. ‘The one thing they don’t realize is New Yorkers never lay down.
‘Our children are never too young to know what’s going on and to teach them what a real American is. And real Americans want full transparency of their government. These people are a disgrace… but there is hope.’
DLH
