Great News!! Veritaspac is now accepting applications for high executive positions within the organization!
At our corporate cafeteria!
No US citizens, however, need apply!
In recent days, your favorite site for the legitimate news (No Fake News allowed around here), erudite commentary, and refreshing insight into the antics of the “Party of the Ass” (aka Democratic) and the “SOP” ( “Sad Old Party”, that of S. Collins, McCain, Flake, etc) , our Vice President of Diversity, Inclusion, and Safe Spaces has brought to our attention a shocking fact!
Mx ‘Xe’ Jones (our VP, D,I, & SS) has reported that a recent work force analysis has revealed that V’pac’s entire editorial staff is White, Christian, US Citizen, straight males! (You could have knocked us over with a feather!)
Imagine our dismay! We realized we had become too immersed in our white privilege to realize that we were a work force “which did not look like America”!
Our staff was understandably distraught and we cried out in unison: “But that’s not who we are!”
So, to immediately rectify this deplorable situation, we are announcing that applications for key positions on our editorial staff are now being solicited. Our Vice President of Diversity, Inclusion, and Safe Spaces has advised us that the following are being immediately sought in order to achieve our site’s desired ethnic, racial, social, religious/non-religious, gender, citizen/non-citizen balance to meet our sacred social obligations. If you fit any of the following categories, contact us today :
– illegal immigrants from every ‘SH’ country (you know who you are)
– at least two openings are available for transgenders; one position for “trans-transgenders” (that would be one who has ‘transited’ multiple times between original and alternative genders)
– person of any religious faith except Christian, or no faith at all
To apply, no skills, education, previous work experience, or identification is necessary. If applying as Native American, suggest your desired tribal heritage, and include photo of any ancestor with readily apparent high cheekbones.
Positions include :
– no pay
– no benefits
– no pension
– no minimum of hours worked
– unlimited leave w/o pay
– your choice of a prestigious title
– unlimited vacation and holidays, unpaid
Submit your application to: Mx ‘Xe’ Jones, Vice President, Diversity, Inclusion, & Safe Spaces, Veritaspac Corporate Headquarters, New York, N.Y….
APPLY TODAY, AND WELCOME ABOARD DLH
I’ll be happy when the photo array in the Times’ crime report starts to look like America.
I want you to DOUBLE my salary!
Good news! Given your exemplary performance our personnel director has recommended tripling it. Unfortunately our New York headquarters location and their tax rate means you will be donating all of it to Commie Cuomo and Bolshevik Bloomberg.