The Neighbor (sequel to “The Trial” by Franz Kafka)
FBI 302, (Date redacted):
7:05 Hours, Special Agent (SA) (name redacted) arrived at home of (name redacted);
(Redacted): “Yes..?
SA (redacted): Good morning. My name is (redacted) and I ‘m with the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Do you have a few minutes?
(redacted); ” Well, yes, but I’m getting ready for work. What is it?
SA (redacted): “I’d like ask you a few questions, if you don’t mind. It’s about a routine matter and we’re just trying to clear up what we believe is a relatively minor misunderstanding. It doesn’t affect you except to the extent you might be able to help us get answers to a few questions. Okay?”
(redacted): “Yeah, I guess.”
SA(Redacted): “Thank you. Now..can I ask if you know this person? (shown photo).
(Redacted): Why, yes. That’s my next door neighbor. Has he done something?”
SA(redacted): “No. No. We just need to get some information to help us wrap this up. He’s done nothing. But let me ask you how long have you known him?
(redacted): “Since we moved here. About 5 years I guess.”
SA (redacted): ” Do you know where he works?”
(redacted): “I think he works at your place. The FBI… doesn’t he?”
SA(Redacted): “Do you remember the last time you saw him?”
(redacted): “Uh, I think…yeah. Last Tuesday. I was getting my newspaper from the driveway and he was just coming out to get in his car. I assume he was going to work.”
SA (redacted): “Did you talk with him?”
(redacted): Just said, “good morning”.
SA (redacted): “Do you recall what he said?”
(redacted): ” I think he just waved and nodded. I think he might have been running a little late”.
SA (redacted): “Did you or he say anything else?”
(redacted): “No. Like I say, I just saw him getting ready to leave and I said, ‘good morning’ and that was it. What’s this about?”
SA (redacted”: “Just as I said. It’s routine…no big deal.Just one more question if you don’t mind. You seemed that you were pretty certain that this was last Tuesday. Can you tell me if there was something else about that day that triggered your memory?”
(redacted): “Yes. Tuesday was the day we had that bad thunderstorm; my car was damaged by the hail. I was thinking that (redacted) was lucky that he probably got to work and got his car in the parking garage before the storm.”
SA (redacted): “Were you aware that a storm was coming, and due to hit later that morning?”
(redacted): ” I heard it on the radio that one was expected. They predicted it would be a strong one but I didn’t realize it would be as severe as it was.”
SA (redacted): “I know this might seem like a silly question, but did you hear that prediction before you talked to (redacted) in his driveway?”
(Redacted): “Yes. I think so…yeah, I’m sure?”
SA (redacted): “So, you knew when you spoke to (redacted), you were aware that what you understood to be a ‘strong’ storm was on the way. Is that correct?”
(redacted): “Uh, yeah. I guess so.”
SA (redacted): ” So…knowing that a bad storm was imminent, you told (redacted) that it was a ‘good’ morning? Is that right?”
(redacted): No! I mean…it was just a greeting…a friendly greeting neighbors make. I didn’t mean…”
SA (redacted): ” Mr. (redacted), if you thought that the morning the worst storm in decades was about to hit this community was a ‘good’ one, what would your idea of a ‘bad’ morning be?”
(redacted): (note to file: At this point the interviewee became quite agitated; he seemed very nervous, possibly, that he had said something he shouldn’t have.)
(redacted): “No, no! You’re twisting my words. I was just trying to be friendly…I didn’t mean…what are you trying to do…?”
SA (redacted): “Mr. (redacted), I think you’d better come with me.”
(redacted): “But…why? I haven’t done anything. You said…”
SA (redacted): ” You are aware, Mr. (redacted), that lying to an FBI agent is a felony, aren’t you?”
(redacted): “But… I didn’t lie to you!”
SA (redacted): “No you didn’t. But you did lie to your next door neighbor, Mr. (redacted), whom you knew was an FBI agent. You obviously intended to assure him that it was a “good” morning, knowing full way the day was sure to be one of the worst weather mornings/days this area has seen in a long time. Is that correct?”
(Redacted): “NO!, I mean, yes, but I didn’t mean…I was just being friendly…I didn’t mean…”
SA (redacted): “Turn around Mr. (redacted), and put you hands behind your back, please…”
(redacted): “I…I want a lawyer…”
SA (redacted); ” I think you are going to need one, Mr. (redacted).”
(Interview ended at 7:35 hours; written and signed as of this date (redacted)
(Note to file) Mr. (redacted) has agreed, in return for leniency regarding his violation under Title 18,US Code, section 101*, to be a key witness in the trial of his ‘former best friend’ (name redacted), known as “Suspect#1” charged with embezzlement and fraud. “Suspect #1” is also known to the Bureau as a possible close associate of “Global Culprit #1”. He is known to have stayed in a hotel owned by “Global Culprit #1” at least twice in the past 5 years and has an insatiablele taster for vodka.)
*Title 18, United States Code, Section 1001 makes it a crime to: 1) knowingly and willfully; 2) make any materially false, fictitious or fraudulent statement or representation; 3) in any matter within the jurisdiction of the executive, legislative or judicial branch of the United States. Your lie does not even have to be made directly to an employee of the national government as long as it is “within the jurisdiction” of the ever expanding federal bureaucracy. Though the falsehood must be “material” this requirement is met if the statement has the “natural tendency to influence or [is] capable of influencing, the decision of the decision-making body to which it is addressed.
