A “folk song” about “Regular Order Chuck Grassley” — adapted from and sung to the tune “MTA” popularized by the Kingston Trio
These are the times that try men’s souls
In the course of our nation’s history the people of America have rallied bravely whenever the rights of men have been threatened
Today a new crisis has arisen
The “Regular Order” Authority Is attempting to levy a burdensome tax on the population in the form of the inflationary Infrastructure Bill, a stalking horse for even worse
Citizens, hear me out, this is happening to you!
Well, let me tell you of the story of a man named ~~ Charlie
On a welcome and fateful day
He put ten cents in his pocket, kissed his wife and family
And flew into DCA
But, did he ever retire?
No he never retired and his fate is still unlearned (what a pity)
He wants to vote forever ‘in the swamp called Washington
He’s the man who never retired
Charlie handed in his soul at the Establishment Metro Station
And he’s spending far too much
When he got there the conductor told him, “one more term”
And Charlie would not get off of that train!
But will he ever retire?
No he never retired and his fate is still unlearned (regular order Charlie)
He may vote forever in the swamp of Washington
He’s the man who never retired
Now, Charlie flies back to Iowa stations
Crying, “you really need me”
How can you get more windmills and ethanol plants
Without good old me!”
But did he ever retire
No he never retired and his fate is still unlearned (shame and scandal)
He may vote forever ‘in the swamp called Washington
He’s the man who never retired
Charlie’s wife goes down to the Waterloo Airport
Every Friday at quarter past two
And through the gates she hands Charlie a favorite sandwich
So he can keep on with the message he’s voting for you
But did he ever retire?
No he never retired and his fate is still unlearned (he may vote forever)
He may vote forever in the swamp of Washington
He’s the man who never retired
Pick it Davey
Kinda hurts my fingers
Now, you citizens of Iowa, don’t you think it’s a scandal
How the people have to pay and pay?
Fight the big spenders, fight for the Republic
Charlie needs to ‘can regular order in DCA
Or else America will never return
No we’ll never return and our heritage will be squandered
But Charlie can say he kept to regular order in the swamp of Washington
He’s the man who never retired
He’s the man who never retired
He’s the man who never retired
Et tu, Charlie?
//////////////////
Original Lyrics by Jacqueline Steiner and Bess Lomax Hawes:
These are the times that try men’s souls
In the course of our nation’s history the people of Boston have rallied bravely whenever the rights of men have been threatened
Today a new crisis has arisen
The Metropolitan Transit Authority, better known as the M.T.A.
Is attempting to levy a burdensome tax on the population in the form of a subway fare increase
Citizens, hear me out, this could happen to you!
Well, let me tell you of the story of a man named Charlie
On a tragic and fateful day
He put ten cents in his pocket, kissed his wife and family
Went to ride on the MTA
Well, did he ever return?
No he never returned and his fate is still unlearned (what a pity)
He may ride forever ‘neath the streets of Boston
He’s the man who never returned
Charlie handed in his dime at the Kendall Square station
And he changed for Jamaica Plain
When he got there the conductor told him, “one more nickel”
Charlie couldn’t get off of that train!
But did he ever return?
No he never returned and his fate is still unlearned (poor old Charlie)
He may ride forever ‘neath the streets of Boston
He’s the man who never returned
Now, all night long Charlie rides through the station
Crying, “what will become of me?
How can I afford to see my sister in Chelsea
Or my cousin in Roxbury?”
But did he ever return?
No he never returned and his fate is still unlearned (shame and scandal)
He may ride forever ‘neath the streets of Boston
He’s the man who never returned
Charlie’s wife goes down to the Scollay Square station
Every day at quarter past two
And through the open window she hands Charlie a sandwich
As the train comes rumbling through!
But did he ever return?
No he never returned and his fate is still unlearned (he may ride forever)
He may ride forever ‘neath the streets of Boston
He’s the man who never returned
Pick it Davey
Kinda hurts my figers
Now, you citizens of Boston, don’t you think it’s a scandal
How the people have to pay and pay?
Fight the fare increase, vote for George O’Brian
Get poor Charlie off the MTA!
Or else he’ll never return
No he’ll never return and his fate is still unlearned (just like Paul Revere)
He may ride forever ‘neath the streets of Boston
He’s the man who never returned
He’s the man who never returned
He’s the man who never returned
Et tu, Charlie?
