The publisher’s teaser for Bush 41’s just released book
Kennebunkport, ME., Bush household, following 91st birthday celebration for GHW Bush:
GHWB: “Barbara, I’m gonna write another book”
Barbara Bush: “Oh, George, you’re getting too old for that stuff”.
GHWB: “Don’t give me that, I still jump out of airplanes. George, get me that Newsweek fella. He’d be great for helping me write my book”.
GW Bush: “What Newsweek fella…you mean Jon Meacham?”
GHWB: yeah. That’s him. Always liked that guy.
GWB: But, Poppy, he always wrote such awful stuff about our administrations. He hates Republicans, even us compassionate ones.
GHWB: He didn’t mean all that stuff. I told you boys, if you can’t lie as good as your ‘adopted’ brother, Bill, just don’t say anything. Ol’ Jon can lie with the best of ’em. Yessir. I want him to write my book.
GWB: What are you gonna say in your book?
GHWB: It’s about time we straightened out some stuff, especially that Iraq thing and that ‘war on terror’ stuff. We need to tell folks who was really behind all that.
GWB: What do you mean, Poppy? Bin Laden and Afghanistan and Saddam’s chemical weapons?
GHWB: “Nah, son. I mean those darn Cheneys, especially the womenfolk. Bunch of warmongers.
GWB:But, Dad, there was 9/11…
GHWB: Yeah, that. But those damn Cheneys had to go and make a big deal out of it. You shoulda done what your adopted brother did. Bill knew how to handle it. Bomb an aspirin factory, make a big speech and if that doesn’t do it, let the next president handle it. You see how Obama does it, don’t you. Now that’s ‘compassionate politics’. Obama wouldn’t take a strong stand on anything and wouldn’t know what to do if he did. He knows how to handle stuff like Iran and , what did you call him, “PootyPoot”, and so on. Blame it on the last guy. But no, that hard ass Cheney thinks he has to save the free world. I tell you, George, that Cheney and his amazon wife and daughter really hurt JEB’s campaign.
GWB: Well, yeah, Dad, but without Dick, people would have been blaming me for defeating the Taliban and freeing Irag from what we know was a dangerous guy in the Middl East, Saddam. Look what they did when I just tried to give amnesty to a few million illegal immigrants and open our borders.
GHWB:
Hell, boy, in case you haven’t noticed, folks are blaming’ you anyway. We got to tell ’em whose fault it really was, Cheney and Scooter Libby, and those two border patrol guys who shot the drug smuggler in the butt. Least you saw TO IT that they didn’t get off easy.
GWB: Dad, Could you also put something in your book about what a hard ass that Ted Cruz is. I just don’t like the guy.
GHWB: Son, consider it done. Old Meacham will be happy to do it, I’m sure.
(STAY TUNED FOR MORE ON THE COMING ADVENTURES OF GHWB FROM HIS BOOK, (subtitled) “FROM MY LIPS TO BARACK OBAMA’S ASS”)
DLH
