Stand-up material:
For all you aspiring stand-up comics out there, we’ve got some material here that’s guaranteed to “bring the house down”!
Call it the “You CAN make This Stuff Up… but We Didn’t (not all of it)”:
(These are actual stories from today’s ‘news outlets’ (well, maybe we exaggerated a little with our own comments…but only a little…these people ARE ‘nuts’):
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The story from the NY Post:
BLM Protesters Say Protective Gear Prices Them Out Of civil Rights
A group of Black Lives Matter protesters in Seattle are claiming that they’re being priced out of their civil rights by the prohibitive costs of defending themselves against police violence.The lawsuit filed Monday in federal court alleges that the repeated use of force by the Seattle Police Department has made it impossible for them to exercise their right to protest without pricey personal protective gear.
“Because protesters now must purchase expensive equipment to be assured that they will be able to protest safely, the indiscriminate use of weapons by SPD implicates equal protection,” the lawsuit says.
The five plaintiffs — Jessica Benton, Shelby Bryant, Anne Marie Cavanaugh, Alyssa Garrison and Clare Thomas — allege helmets, gas masks, protective clothing, goggles, gloves, boots, umbrellas and other gear are needed to fight off police pepper spray, less-lethal projectiles and other crowd dispersal measures.They claim they have been the victims of “indiscriminate” police violence during protests in Seattle’s Capitol Hill neighborhood, which was home to the Capitol Hill Organized Protest, known as CHOP, on June 25.
The suit seeks a temporary restraining order prohibiting the department from using force or crowd dispersal munitions.
“Because the Seattle Police Department has acted above and outside the law in dispensing its unbridled force, and the City has failed to prevent same, the government effect is to establish a de facto protest tax: individual protesters subjected to SPD’s unabated and indiscriminate violence now must purchase cost-prohibitive gear to withstand munitions — even when peacefully protesting — as a condition to exercising their right to free speech and peaceable assembly,” the suit said.
A spokesperson for the Seattle City Attorney’s Office said it will “look into these new claims and intend(s) to defend the City in this matter.”
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BLM Protesters Say Protective Gear Prices Them Out Of civil Rights
“Helmets, face shields, body armor , (fireproof) gloves, WonderWoman bracelets that make bullets harmless…all this is just too costly for your average ‘Black Lives Matter’ protester.”Who can afford all that equipment? You try handling Molotov Cocktails without fireproof gloves.”
“And, do you have any idea how much a good, heavy stiff, solid cane to bash cops over the head with, costs?”
“Rioting just isn’t any fun if you don’t have a gas mask! And, believe me, they’re expensive”.
“It’s just not a fair fight”, they must lament.
And, finally…Why haven’t Chuck and Nancy put a few million$ into thre COVID bill to cover these costs (Oh…they Have?)
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This is a true story according to the Washington Times:
OPRAH SAYS SYSTEM OF WHITE PEOPLE KEEPS BLACKS OFF ‘LADDER OF SUCCESS’
But first, our comment:
“Can you imagine how much a talent like me could’ve made if the ‘racist white man’ hadn’t discriminated against me?”, asked multi-billionaire, Winfrey.
“And, my friend LeBron…with his high intellect and political acumen, if it weren’t for ‘whitey’s system’, he would have been our first 5 term President!”
Washington Times article:
Billionaire Oprah Winfrey says it’s important for Americans to realize that “the system of White people” continues to keep Black citizens off “the ladder of success.”
The media mogul made the comments July 31 on her Apple TV+ show “The Oprah Conversation,” which included former NFL linebacker Emmanuel Acho.
Ms. Winfrey titled the episode “Uncomfortable Conversations with a Black Man: Part 1,” in honor of the ex-athlete’s YouTube conversations under the same banner.
“I’ve created this for you because in order to stand with us and people that look like me, you have to be educated on issues that pertain to me and fully educated so you can feel the full level of pain so that you can have full understanding,” Mr. Acho said during the episode’s introduction. “I fervently believe that if the White person is your problem, only the White person can be your solution.”
The duo brought in multiple guests to cover topics surrounding racism and unconscious bias.
“As a Black person, White people for the proverbial phrase of White people, they run America. CEOs, Fortune 500 companies, execs, ownership, they run America. Not an individual White person, but collective White people,” Mr. Acho told a guest who was concerned that conversations on race were prone to ignoring or downplaying the existence of poor Whites. “Are there some poor White people in America? Absolutely. How did that happen? I don’t know. I honestly don’t know. Because as a Black person, I understand how we got poor. I totally get that.”
The former NFL player noted that Black Americans become poor by not having access to home ownership or excellent school districts.
