There are eight awards this year. We set forth two of our favorites, (they are all our favorites) in order to entice you to use the link and delight in the others. Note – at the link you will find some are heroish of a sort but all are referenced tongue-in-cheek
Getting the better of the most powerful man in the world makes the list:
Washington Free Beacon Staff • December 29, 2022 5:00 am
July 18, 2022. In an appalling display of American emasculation, President Joe Biden eased his Trek FX 1 Disc to a stop before a crowd of cheering morons and attempted to dismount. The rest is infamy.No man in the history of aviator sunglasses has ever looked less cool while wearing them than Biden did that fateful day. The bike helmet and tactical cycling gloves didn’t help. Neither did getting his foot caught in the stupid pedal thing and eating shit on Delaware asphalt in a twisted pile of gears and spokes and wrinkled leg skin.
The Trek FX 1 Disc did the American people a great service by exposing the president as a crotchless weakling slouching toward the grave. It was, in our humble estimation, an act of valor no less potent and enduring than the patriotic self-defense of Lexington and Concord some two-and-a-half centuries ago as the full meaty thrust of Revolution came bursting into the ether.
It’s a miracle he didn’t die. Falls are the leading cause of injury-related death among Americans aged 65 and up. Biden just turned 80. Kamala Harris is vice president. (We’re so f—ed.) Perhaps the Trek FX 1 Disc was imploring us to behold the doddering geezer’s imminent mortality and feel sorry. Not for Biden, obviously, but for ourselves.
This is the United States of America, for crying out loud, and we deserve better than a goo-brained commander in chief who humiliates his country on a daily basis. Our “elected” “leader” is falling off bicycles and shaking hands with ghostswhile actual strongmen like MBS do gangster shit like bombing Yemen and luring a journalist abroad to murder and dismember him with zero repercussions.
Make no mistake. The Washington Free Beacon considers cycling to be an anti-social abomination perpetrated by soulless freaks who in a perfect world would hang from the gallows in their fancy leotards. We did not arrive at this decision lightly or in haste. We deliberated thoughtfully and impactfully for hours, holding hands in a circle of inclusion as we spoke our truths and excavated our emotions.
Ultimately we felt a simple child’s toy could not be held responsible for the actions of so-called adults. It would be like blaming the crack pipe for Sleepy Joe’s sadistic refusal to acknowledge Navy Joan Roberts, the innocent child Hunter Biden fathered with a stripper named “Dallas” during one of his smoke-and-poke extravaganzas funded by his father’s name and the foreign crimelords who noticed it.
For its noble service to our once great nation and for putting President Brandon on his bony ass where he belongs, the Washington Free Beacon is honored to recognize the Trek FX 1 Disc as a 2022 Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.
Published under: 2022 Men of the Year, Man of the Year, Men of the Year
Few men are willing to give up everything for a political cause. Then there’s Dr. Clifford Chen, the John Fetterman campaign donor who sacrificed his professional reputation for the good of the Democratic Party.“He spoke intelligently and without cognitive deficits,” the Pennsylvania physician wrote of the state’s lieutenant governor, Senate candidate, and stroke victim. “His speech was normal…”
Days later, in a showdown against his Republican opponent, Dr. Mehmet Oz, Fetterman cited Chen’s letter. High school debate coaches call it an appeal to authority: “My doctors, the real doctors that I believe, they all believe that I am ready to be served,” Fetterman said. Perfectly normal!
Well, Fetterman pulled it out, Democrats held on to their Senate majority, and here at the Free Beacon, game recognize game. We see you, Dr. Chen.
For his valiant service to the Fetterman campaign and the Democratic party, he now joins the ranks of esteemed doctors–including Dr. Jill Biden–who have helped foist mentally-challenged Democrats on the American people. And for torching his professional credibility to rescue Fetterman’s campaign, congratulations, Dr. Chen, you are not just a family physician and a Fetterman donor, you are also a Washington Free Beacon Man of the Year.
