Syrial Incompetence

Chuck Hagel says US “prepared for ‘all contingencies'” regarding the crisis in Syria.

Appearing confident, but typically bewildered and disheveled, Hagel did not spell out specifically what those preparations are. Veritas, however, can reveal, as disclosed by reliable sources, that President Obama is ready to use his whole range of options, including a well-crafted speech…one which would, in no uncertain terms, warn that if Bashir Assad continues his “unacceptable behavior”, a very stern letter could follow. Obama is even considering sending Sec. of State Kerry to advise Iran that future discussions to consider possible steps which could conceivably lead to very serious talks about Iran’s nuclear weapons program, could be postponed several weeks if that country continues to support Assad.

Some news organizations close to the administration say that Mr. Obama has not ruled out calling our UN Ambassador Samantha Power back from her well-earned vacation to draft a plea to the UN allowing the USA to make “ominous” threats to the Syrian regime in exchange for assurances to Ban Ki Moon, UN Sec Gen, that those threats would not, of course, be carried out.

Meanwhile, there are reports that Obama has been in contact with Russia’s Vladimir (Vlad the Impaler) Putin, offering a wide range of US concessions to Russian demands for, among other things, US unilateral nuclear disarmament if Mr. Putin will be a “little flexible” in supporting a new set of vague “red lines” Obama is now reported to be contemplating as a last resort to calming the violence in Syria.

Meanwhile Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Martin Dempsey issued a statement that “it would be the greatest tragedy of this entire Syrian crisis if there were any backlash of criticism toward Muslims in America just because of  this nation’s support of the Islamist/AlQaeda rebels seeking to take over Syria”.

Sources also tell Veritas that the Administration considers the Syrian crisis so serious that it cut short a top level White House conference to deal with issues of concern to bi-sexuals. The conference has been rescheduled to replace a meeting planned to solve the jobs problem in the US.               DLH

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